Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27
While I recommend that husbands and wives read and practice the Ephesians 5 principles for their marriage, I want to key in on the above verses because I think they are essential to understanding that the union between Christ and the Church is what marriage is symbolic of.
When considering any action in marriage, a husband should take a look at how Christ interacts with the Church and then ask himself, whether Christ would behave in that manner toward His people. Jesus’ love for the church is sacrificial, it’s unconditional and it’s commited. Jesus’ love is the highest form of love there is, and a husband should model it. Likewise a woman should judge her own actions by the callings to which Jesus has for the Church and ask herself whether the Church would treat Christ in the manner in which she is treating her husband.
When a spouse distances themselves from their partner, or at worst, is unfaithful to them, it’s important to look at the Bible to see how to treat these problems, because relying on the wisdom of men can severely damage a relationship and end any hope for it.
In the Rational Male, Rollo Tomassi puts forward the rule that power belongs to the partner who needs the other the least. So he (and the Red Pill follows this as well) puts forward the idea that a man should remain aloof from his partner, that he should develop external interests and that a wife or female partner should not be at the center of the man’s life. And yet, they would have the female strongly desire them to the point where they are willing to create such an uncertainty in the woman that she will pursue them. It’s the height of manipulation, and even Machievellian when one thinks of the way these men are exploiting females in their lives.
The ideal that a woman should not be a core part of the man’s life is contrary to Biblical doctrine. Woman was created to be a help to the man, a support in his dominion role within the world and in a marriage, he is to treat her as Christ treats the Church. The Bride is central to Jesus’ mission of salvation. In fact, it is the medium through which He expresses his mission. His bride glorifies Him.
Also, the Red Pill “games” are contrary not only to a Christian relationship, but are contrary to the core principle of agape love. True intimacy comes through honesty, and deceit and dishonest will destroy a relationship.
Ephesians 5 demonstrates a model of marriage based on Jesus and His Bride with the core principle of agape love binding them together. Through the Spirit of Jesus, that is through the self-sacrificing love that He has for us, a woman can submit herself to her husband, and the husband can love his wife as Jesus loves the Church. This is the plan that God has for man and wife, that they give to each other and live in the harmony of an ordered relationship, glorifying Jesus Christ.
Pamela Parizo © 2017